TOP 5 TV SHOW CHARACTERS THAT NEVER APPEAR ON-SCREEN
Taking a break from the silver screen, I'd like to commend some of televisions greatest characters.
It's a common device of television producers and writers to create a character and never cast it, never hire an actor, and never show the character on-screen. Here's a tribute to those characters that I consider to be the best of the best at never being there.
(warning: minor spoiler alerts, proceed with caution, oh ye of little television watching...)
5. Troy Garland (a.k.a Evie's Dad):Out of this World
As a child of divorce whose parents at one time lived on opposite sides
of the country, this show really spoke to me. Evie's dad, Troy, was
technically further away than mine, and she had a much cooler method of
communicating to him that seemed to work whenever she needed him -- but the message still rang true for me as I am
sure it did for a lot of other kids in my generation: long-distance
parenting sucks. And what better way to convey the distance (both real and
perceived) by never actually showing the main character's father on screen? Troy is the alien
father of Evie who is 1/2 alien, 1/2 human due to the procreating practices of her parents. Evie lives full time with
her mother while Troy went back to his home planet to help fight a war.
Evie uses a 'cube' to talk to her dad, which closely resembles the
technology of a land-line speaker phone but has the ability to reach
other planets. Troy makes a few on-screen appearances but never without a
mask covering part of his face. Most of the time he is just a voice on
the other end of a super 90's looking futuristic crystal cube that opens
like a clam shell. True character development gold.
Doo-da-do-do-do Inspector Gadget Doo-da-do-do-do-do-do ooh
hoo! Seriously, you should re-listen to this theme song; it has some decent beats
for an 80’s cartoon series. Dr. Claw’s body is never revealed on-screen except for his
hand with the Lady-Gaga-esque metal glove. His faithful companion M.A.D cat
seems to be his only friend in life -– proving that life is lonely at the top;
especially if you’re an evil asshole. As a kid, I remember feeling that twinge
of anxiety each time his hand would come on screen. I thought for sure some day
they would reveal his entire figure. I was determined to find out. And sadly
disappointed when it never happened. I heard that you can see his face fully
revealed on the video game…but at this point it seems a little sacrilegious –
like I would be scoffing at the integrity of the TV show. What if the rest of him looked like Barney
Fife? Or worse, Lady Gaga?? No, no, that’s better left unknown.
Oh Tino, I always wanted to imagine you as an equally dreamy
Hispanic/Italian version of Jordan Catalano. Even though I knew deep down that
you probably more closely resembled Krazy-8 (a la Breaking Bad). And he’s
attractive - but come on - he’s no Catalano. Tino is Rayanne’s friend; Tino is
in Jordan’s band ‘Frozen Embryos’; Tino is never to be found but always around.
He is the connector of the cool kids at his high school and perhaps this is because
he is so elusive. After all, no one got cool points in high school for showing
up. I wouldn’t be surprised in Angela Chase had never met him. And thus, his
character is perfect as unseen.
Ugly Naked Guy is said to be a composite of several neighbor-experiences the writers of Friends had while living in New York City. After the
show aired, they received a letter from a person who grew up in the building that
the show uses as stock footage for exterior shots. She claimed that there was,
in fact, an actual ugly naked guy living in the building across from hers.
After examination of this, I must conclude that it is not so much a remarkable
coincidence as it is incredibly common for people to walk around naked in
their apartments. Having lived in a downtown domicle for over 6 years with
buildings that are in close quarters, I can say with certainty that people do
walk around naked when they are at home.
Though not as committed to the lifestyle as Ugly Naked Guy is purported
to be, people like to strip to their skivvies when hanging out at home. Hey,
even Joey admitted to partaking in Naked Thursdays…
Known to Will and Grace fans as Karen Walker’s rich,
powerful, and morbidly overweight third husband, Stan Walker tops my list as a
the best unseen TV character for many reasons. As an unseen character, he sure
wasn’t passed over where story lines were concerned. In fact, entire episodes
and arguably, entire season arcs were based on his characters actions
off-camera. Never before has an unseen character been put into prison for tax
evasion, cheated in his wife while in prison resulting in their separation only
later to die, resulting in a full episode dedicated to his funeral. And then it
gets interesting…He comes back from the dead, revealing himself to Will and
admitting that he was just hiding out and receiving help from the government.
Karen finds out and more drama ensues, all the while not a glimpse of his being
is ever visually revealed.
Honorable mention goes to Wilson from Home Improvement because although
the shows writers and producers went to great lengths to never show
Wilson's face below the halfway mark, he is an 'on-screen' actor
appearing in 203 episodes that span all 8 seasons. And, his entire face
was finally revealed in the series finale which makes it hard to fit him
into this category of 'unseen actors'. But it was hard for me to write
this post without including him somehow, so I give him honorable mention
- as I am sure he would express appreciation toward, and then wax
philosophical on the subject of honor and gratitude.
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